9 Reasons Why Being a Parent Is Pretty Much the Same Thing as Being Enlightened

Watch out Gandhi. Mother Teresa. Sai Baba. Buddha.Parenthood is the new Jedi training for those on a path of awakened contentment, a deeper sense of connection and purpose, and spiritual meaning.According to Merriam-Webster, enlightenment refers to the "full comprehension of a situation".No. Kidding.The first time I held my little guy, I was simultaneously thinking, WOW that hurt, Holy goodness I’m holding a new soul, wait, I’m responsible for said soul, wait, he has his own path. How’s that work? What have we done? There is so much beauty in this world, there is so much pain.  We’ve got this! Sh@#$, maybe we don’t.  It was pretty much a ride in the tunnel of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory...and I wasn’t on drugs.Through decades of pre-offspring mindfulness practices and personal-growth work,  I had the luxury of reflecting on my life’s meaning, the meaning of life in general, and how I might be a more “awakened” individual.Bwahahahah.Don’t get me wrong, this was an important part of my development, my current work, and why I probably haven’t eaten my child.  However, at this stage in the game, parenthood doesn’t leave much time for brushing teeth, let alone navel-gazing.  What I’ve come to understand is that life is the practice and having a child has brought me into a more authentic sense of “enlightenment” than I’ve ever experienced before.  If you’re a parent feeling a little sideways, disconnected, and not so awakened here are nine signs that parenthood has put you smack dab on the path to enlightenment:1. Inner strength.The reserves to hang on when things get challenging.  Take, for example, the times you haven’t slept more than 3 consecutive hours…for 6 straight months. (This is considered torture in some countries.)  Or your child steals your car.  No one knows inner strength like the parent of a newborn or a teenager.  If you haven’t eaten your offspring in stressful times, you’re cultivating inner strength.2. Perspective.You can see a situation from all sides.  For instance, when you say, “Pick out the shirt you want to wear today” and full-on wailing ensues because there isn't an option with a crocodile on it. Two-year-olds and 13-year-olds have minimal emotional regulation.  It’s not their fault.  Biology.  We’ve all been there.  It’s tough when brain chemistry is involved, you are trying to figure yourself out, and no one can understand you (literally or metaphorically).  Parenthood provides endless opportunities for exercising non-reaction, empathy, and perspective.3. A practice.I like to call this the mantra and meditation portion of parenthood enlightenment.  Deep breaths.  Go inward.  This too shall pass.  This too shall pass.4. Joy.Pre-child, when was the last time you jumped up and down and cheered at a train, stopped the car to look at a bunny, or threw a party because you peed in the toilet?  You experience pure joy in the most unexpected places.5. Awakened Intuition.Parenting forces your hand at trusting your gut on an entirely new level.  A doctor or teacher says one thing is happening with your kiddo, but you know that’s not entirely quite right.  And don’t forget the times when you realize it’s a little too quiet or you have a hunch Joey isn’t really at the library.  The more we practice trusting and listening to ourselves, the more intuitive we get.6. Acceptance.Thought you were never going to be that parent: Your kid laying face down in the grocery store kicking and screaming?  Mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, or lollipops - a dietary staple? Your kid dropping out of school or becoming a teen parent?  Raising kids is humbling.  Most people are trying the best they can with the tools they have. We are all holding space for our kids to become the best versions of themselves.  If we can’t show ourselves compassion and acceptance for our own shortcomings, or cultivate understanding for others, how can we hold space for our youth do to the same?7. Prayer.It doesn’t matter what your belief system is, as a parent, there will be some point where you throw up your hands and start talking to God, the ether, or some unidentified force because you won’t know what to do.  A sick kid, bullying, the first day of school (kindergarten or college), boyfriends, girlfriends, driving, Justin Bieber.  You name it.  Parenthood is a lifetime gig of loving so unconditionally, wanting the absolute best for kid, and not having control of the outcomes. Which leads me to...8. Non-attachment.We’ve all been there.  Whether it’s something as small as the expectations we attach to a family vacation or something bigger like assuming who our kids will fall in love with or the career they will choose, if we stay attached to our initial expectations, “it is the cause of suffering”, as the The Dalai Lama kindly reminds us.9. Presence.Children provide us with the opportunity to be so-very-in-the-moment.   The sign of the truly enlightened.  Think of the times when you want to respond to one more email, check Facebook, or tweet about your cute kids and they are yelling “MMMMMOM!! Mom. Mom. Mom.” from the other room...or right next to you.  Give them a second...or more.  They grow up too fast.  Besides, think of them as little Buddhas.  Little yelling Buddhas.If you don’t recognize any of these enlightenment training opportunities in your daily existence, no worries. (Well, actually, maybe you should be worried, but if you’re this far into this post I’m going to assume you can pick out a couple.)Parenthood isn’t about completely losing yourself and enlightenment is not about removing yourself from everyday life and its challenges.  Instead, it means showing up and living this life in the present moment, with compassion, knowingness, empowerment, calm, trust, and humor.Thanks to our little, and not-so-little, gurus.May the force be with you my fellow parents. In the comments below, I'd love to hear how parenting has made you more (or less) enlightened.  Do tell.