Finding the real you (you don’t have to be a hermit or an addict)

So most of what I do deals with going deep. Getting quiet. Listening to that important little voice inside you called your intuition. It means claiming your space (literally and metaphorically) and owning your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, wants, needs. I’m a huge advocate for spending time alone in nature, shutting down all the little glowing rectangles you use regularly, meditation . . . We need time in our heads and hearts to hear ourselves. To know ourselves. We need to disconnect to get a clear read on our inner landscape without influence of the outer. But you know what else helps the growth process? Being part of a group. Whoa. Whaaaat? (My former, 30-year-old, go-it-alone, introvert self would be staring at me gape-mouthed right now.)When we’re doing the hard work of exploration and change to build healthy boundaries in our lives (I know, boundaries again—they’re that powerful), it helps to have some fellow seekers along for the ride. Here’s what a group isn’t:

• It’s not crowdsourcing your life. It may be new ideas or new perspectives that help you move beyond a sticking point, but it’s not doing what everyone else thinks you should do.
• It’s not a crutch. You get support as in, “You got this. We’re here if you need help. We hear you. That sucks and you’re doing great!” Crutch no.
• It’s not an excuse to not do your own work. Do you tend to take on other people’s problems? Try to fix things for others (but neglect yourself)? (Fellow helpers and healers, raise your hands.) That’s not what groups are about, but don’t worry I’ve got your back on that one in this group.

Here’s what a group is: Support. Community. Illumination of what needs tending to. Being with people trying to do the same hard things you’re doing while you each explore in your own, unique way. That’s what former client, Hilery L. found: I have been aware of having weak boundaries for a long time, but until taking Jess’s class, I had no idea how deeply these issues influenced my life. Not just relationships, but also emotional, physical and spiritual aspects as well. Through Jess’s group program I was able to explore my boundaries along with a supportive cohort of fellow peers, identifying what is and isn’t working for me, looking at how I arrived at the point I am today and how to begin strengthening my boundaries so I can exist in a comfortable, healthy place. Jess’s guidance, insight and kindness has given me a solid starting point to work on this critical part of finding happiness and peace in my life.Hilery showed up, was open, did the work—and got support from others building their own better boundaries. Having a community is so helpful when we are making change—especially when it’s a change people we know don’t really get. If you’re looking for clan on your journey, I invite you to join me and a group of other curious spirits as we dive into boundaries.The Real You 101: Healthy Boundaries in a Demanding World is 6-week program covering 5 critical boundary necessary for health, solid relationships, success, and personal fulfillment. You’ll learn how to stand in your center, know yourself, trust your voice, and act on it—not just in theory, but in your real everyday life. And you won’t be alone. You’ll be part of a community of amazing spirits who are figuring out this healthy boundary thing too.Healthy boundaries transform lives. (No exaggeration.) And while boundaries are what separate you from the rest of the world, that doesn’t mean you need to work on boundaries alone. Get your boundaries band. Join us here.